10 – Come to the parent/teacher conference twenty minutes late and hungover

9 – Tell him you believe homework stifles a child’s innate curiosity and forbid your child to ever turn it in.

8 – When you visit the classroom give a mournful sigh at the sight of the books and ask what was the cost in trees.

7 – Send back every fundraiser request with a nasty note pointing out how overpaid the teacher is.

6 – Send your child to school with a new Gameboy or tech toy every day and tell him to use it if he’s bored.

5 – Never give her more than a day’s notice to write a teacher recommendation.

4 – As a parting gift at schools’ end send him heavy duty gloves so he ‘can finally do some real work’.

3 – Ask her where she went to University, then frown, shake your head and say, ‘Never heard of it’.

2 – Fill your child’s daily lunch with nothing but sticky sweets and chocolate.

1 – Every time your child scores poorly on a test, call the principal to complain.