I have joyful news! For the past year plus–since before the pandemic–I have been striving and struggling to at long last write the kind of book I always new I had in me. This week I finished the last of the edits on that manuscript, and sent my beautiful new book off to my agent. Oh thrilling day!

In truth, every book I write has my soul and all the truth I know in it. How else could I write it? But I will admit that–aside from Demon Gate aka 13 Demon Days–I have for some time written books that leaned more toward making me laugh or letting me escape. I didn’t particularly want to dig into my messy childhood for inspiration, preferring to let those particular beasties be. However, in the past few years as I read and was touched by one #ownvoices book after another I came to feel a duality of inspiration and discouragement. The first, because the authors were so courageous and had given the world such a gift–a gift that was truly needed. I was grateful and wished I could do the same. But, I was also discouraged because I didn’t feel the stuff that was uniquely mine would ever fit the tone and needs of the middle grade audience, and despite my forays into adult books as Lily Black, middle grade is my heart home.

Enter my agent, who gently pushed me in January 2020 to stretch myself. While on a long phone call, we discussed the particulars of my growing up years and those things I’ve taken away from my experiences. When I protested, he pointed to solutions, and we brainstormed together. I promised to try.
And I did try. But that first attempt was still muffled and fell so short I knew there was no version of it I would send in. As 2020 rolled over us I dug deeper and wrote massive amounts of back story as I outlined and brainstormed, till I’ve written the equivalent pages of my eventual book about five times over. I struggled emotionally with wounds I thought had healed, as well, and in the dark days that followed took steps to help myself flourish. Signing up for Wake Tech’s game development program has been part of that. A vote of faith in the goodness and joy that can still be mine, as I explore ways to tell the stories that resonate in my heart.

And then we had the January capital insurrection…and I found myself face to face with my past. You see, I was raised in what could most easily be defined as an odd little one family cult. As a girl I was enough of a skeptic to shed much of what I was taught and as an adult I’ve moved on and found the world to be somewhere I can thrive. But, I know what that particular head space looks like. I am intimately familiar with the kind of logic which led hundreds to storm our capital. What I hadn’t realized–hadn’t wanted to see–was that this particular flavor of poison was still alive and well. I’d believed that the unique brand of aggressive paranoia I was subjected to was fairly isolated and a thing of the past. Surely no one now believed that kind of garbage? We all have different views of how the world should be managed, but none of us would go there–right?

I remember the exact moment that I realized my story had to find a voice. As I poured over pictures from the capital and zoomed in to see details, it dawned on me that I was searching for familiar faces, worried sick someone I knew would be so deceived. Perhaps just as importantly, it hit me that every person there meant that children–sons, daughters, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, neighbors–were home trying to make sense of it all just as I had to.

I started my new draft the next day. I am immensely proud of the book that grew from there, and thrilled to have it back in my agent’s hands.
Here’s the blurb I sent in with it:

Robin Hood’s daughter faces a terrible choice—give up her family’s legacy or kill the dragonet she’s secretly adopted.

When the Dragon Comes is a modern middle grade fantasy, where eleven-year-old Rowen lives in a hidden valley just outside Yellowstone and is the rising star of a cultish magic society. As a people, the Skild have kept themselves apart from the outside world, staying fanatically true to their calling to watch for the dragon’s return and destroy it. But everything turns upside down when a tiny dragonet climbs from its chrysalis and tumbles straight into Rowen’s hands. With one look into its eyes Rowen is shocked to find herself falling instantly in love. As her uncle, the sheriff, goes on a rampage to find the person hiding the dragon, Rowen finds one sacred truth after another unraveling. Surrounded by literal soul-sucking nightmares that sweep through the valley, she must decide what it is she believes, and how far she’s willing to go to protect the new truths she’s discovering.

It’s only had one quick round of edits so it will need more, but I have high hopes for this little book–cross your fingers with me, okay?

My agent is CEO of his agency so I’ve settled in for a wait. Thankfully, I’ve got plenty to keep me occupied! So far in my program I’ve taken (and was shocked to love) a programming class using C# to create games in Unity, a general intro to the game development industry with lots of interesting insights, a Substance Painter and other art tech-tools class, and a game development class focused on how to pull all the pieces together and create games that are actually fun. Over the summer I’m learning how to use Maya, in the wild world of 3D modeling. It’s probably my fastest-moving class so far but I’m learning SO much and loving doing it!

Of the games I’ve got in the works, one of the two that are most doable for me to make is a prototype set on Fairlyand’s Witness Protection Island, where I’ll explore a new kind of game play I’m curious to see in action. For my first Maya class assignment, I shoved some basic polygons together to rough out the beginnings of Baby Bear’s (now all grown up) cabin.

What do you think? I wasn’t allowed to extrude–that is, fundamentally alter the mesh of the shapes–so it’s super basic, but I’m particularly pleased with the pattern of the quilt and the honeypot on the table.

Here’s to writing, creating, and growing! I hope you’re doing the same, and would love to hear your summer news! Even better if you’ve discovered any unexpected gifts from this roller-coaster time. 😀

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