Five Worst Things to Hear/Read at the Holidays: 

“First, promise you won’t be mad…”

“Some Assembly Required”

“Do we have jumper cables?”

“…the oven was never turned on.”

“Attention passengers, due to inclement weather…”

 

Five Best Breakfast Foods for Christmas Morning:

Hot chocolate with crushed candy cane

Left-over pizza, minus the anchovies

Sliced bannana with melted chocolate and soft caramel

Donuts with red and white sprinkles, washed down with eggnog

A crescent roll wrapped around a link sausage, then baked to golden brown

 

Five Things to do Christmas Morning:

Line all your candies up and have them battle it out with your kids’ treats.  Winner takes all.

Call all your relatives in colder climes and tell them how gorgeous your weather is.

Hide in the coat closet with your nifty new pocket light and the book you gave yourself.

Hold a gingerbread building contest.  Anyone whose house falls down get dishes duty, and the one with the most candy wins.

Crawl back into bed for a long winter nap.